EDP Column 1
Me, write a piece for the Eastern Daily Press , how thrilling! Now chewing the end of the pencil, what to write? My brain’s a blank; nothing. Does anything happen in my life? No! Phone my mother, “Try to be amusing dear, stop it Max!” this last to her little dog who is eating her sofa.
While I’m thinking, I’ll just go and let the chickens out, Albert, Victoria, Elizabeth and Anne. They look so beautiful in the morning sun. The Chickens follow me round the paddock as I collect the pony ‘biggies’. Oh heck, the ponies, Hugo and Starlight have knocked down the bit of wood that holds up the field shelter roof. Must ring Tony to fix it.
Just check for eggs. Two, hurrah! Dippy eggs for Adelaide, my granddaughter, and I for breakfast. Feed the dogs. Cassie (Lhasa), Mina (Yorkie, Shih Tzu cross) and Quinn (Jack Russell) leap about in joy amid a rising cacophony of barking. The two Labradors, Scoter and Daisy, merely drool on the floor.
Now, before I sit down to write I must just clean the futility room floor as the ironing lady comes later. Patsy can iron more in an hour than I can in a week. Right. Oh heavens the Labradors need a walk to take the bounce out of them, the little dogs get a short walk later.
Now then, sharpen pencils, have to use Adelaide’s Winnie the Pooh one, with her helping me. She is also helping her mummy, Sophie, make greeting cards and wedding stationery. Shut myself in the sitting room, the cat, Ceaser, sits on my writing pad, a great help. The phone rings. My mother’s dog, Max, is not feeling well, he can’t jump up onto the bed or the sofa. Off to the vet, diagnosis, possible back trouble for Max, for mother too if she has to lift him on and off the sofa. Well, while we were out, pop into Safeways, searching for inspiration for dinner tonight. Oh goody there’s a special offer on Lily-of-the-Valley rhizomes.
By now it’s lunchtime. David, my husband, has been busy all morning working on a new script for TV. As if on cue Scoter, David’s dog, throws up, a pair of Bridgedale socks. Clear up, wash up, tidy the kitchen. Adelaide goes off for a snooze and I feel like joining her.
Right, peace and quiet and a tidy kitchen, perfect. The tumble drier calls. “Granny loves laundry” says Adelaide. Oh dear have dyed David’s pants a lurid shade of peach, how did that happen? Knock my thumb on the washing machine filter, ow, blood, apply Barbie plaster. Sit down, phone rings, son Thom and wife Helen coming for the weekend. Lovely to see them but what to eat? Reach for Claire Macdonald.
Tea time. Adelaide gets up, she’s wearing a fluffy pink hair band, Barbie wellies, pink sunglasses and says that she is a fairy and will only answer to that name.
The fairy draws all over my writing pad and gives my pencil to Daisy, who eats it. We then have to shut up the chickens.
Fairy and I give the ponies hay and by now it’s doggie’s dinner time.
Find new pencil and writing pad. Sophie says “Don’t you remember mum, I’m out tonight and need an early dinner.”
Dinner, Sophie off out, Adelaide’s bath time and then, one of the best times of the day, story time. Before I really do just sit down and concentrate I’ll just watch a bit of tv, by the log fire, with David. Oh heck, I dropped off. It’s tinkle time for doggies and then bed.
I must really get down to writing tomorrow.
